Sunday, September 01, 2013

All NHS Doctors Are Rubbish

I used to see doctors as supreme humans of superior intellect, capable of healing the world...

Today, I HATE doctors. I never go to them, simply enduring my non-terminal ailment until its natural cease. If I'm unlucky, they’ll give me some pills which will make me need more, give me spots and weaken my body when attempting to aid it. Every-single-time I have requested health assistance from a general practitioner, short of prescribing acid to burn away infected skin, they have failed to help sufficiently or even show the intention to.

"Sorry, you can't see me for 3 weeks... What's that? It'll be gone by then? Yes, good, so what do you want to see me for again?

Assessments are basic and inspections aren't thorough. Try asking for a proper testicle test – and after plenty of encouragement, if received, observe the look of discomfort on the male doctor’s face as he fondles your testicles with sex in his mind and then tells you everything is okay despite your jolts of agony.

With rising populations and financial cutbacks, it’s got to be so hard for doctors to have to see so many patients so often. I guess that’s why they’re so lazy, unconcerned and rubbish. Things must have been different previously; 30 years ago, each doctor had fewer patients and more holidays.

They should be forced to answer every fair request accordingly. If they fail to they should be sacked.

It’s not like giving away prescriptions and referring people to other services comes out of their pockets, they just can’t be bothered to do anything of effort and have too much power placed into their opinionated, hateful and compassion-less judgement. 

Home visits, like one could get in the good old days of less diverse populations, are now unavailable without paying to be extorted by private firms or deceptively and disagreeably phoning for an emergency ambulance. There was a time when doctors gave patients their phone numbers. Today they all hide behind secretaries’ appointment books.

Clearly, we need more doctors and, if respectable, more social regulation and, also, the training processes needs to be streamlined allowing for that demand to be met faster. Either that or we need less patients.

“Dr Popolopolopolous, hey you lazy bastaad, see ya when I'm dying...”

“No, I wasn't lazy at school…”

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