The Main Problem with Interracial Relationships - featuring Chris Brown

 Okay, so I know this is a very complicated topic but I shall try to simplify it.

Skip past the fact that Chris Brown, however likable that he is, is not recommended against exemplifying everything that is to be hated about men. Acknowledging this, his singing, dancing and representation of Michael Jackson redeems him.

Whilst reading the following statement, acknowledge how ‘the self’ is tied to ‘chosen group of belonging’. As in: the contextualised groupings that the self belongs to by choice and/or inheritance fundamentally mold the self. The self is the self's groupings.

Not in business or society but in relationships specifically, the ‘white’ identities of ‘white’ partners are not compatible with ‘black’ identities of self-respecting ‘black’ people who are interested in their cultural heritage and societal role-playing... And not vice versa.

This is because the core tenets of each ‘identity’ (read ‘ideologies’) are at odds with eachother. Both parties are likely to be, due to complex reasoning, extraneously compelled to reject their partner’s welcoming.

In common terms - and the point of this article on the topic of relationships - comfortable conversations on some of the topics that are most important to each individuals are impossible to have. 

With this dynamic, some interests not only cannot be shared (or reside as coexistent) but are almost invariably conflicting, opposing and ‘toxic’.

So, you have two people who are supposed to be together as a united form but cannot possibly share entirely with eachother, be on the same page or fully understand eachother. That, a relationship, does not make.

A core tenet of ‘whiteness’ is ‘supremacy’ - or at least an attribution of it from the group’s membership, willingly or not. Try to reconcile this with a core tenet of ‘blackness’ such as ‘disadvantage’ or ‘genetic superiority’.

Both parties are predisposed to be convinced of these things, to some degree, fundamentally as beneficial means to self evaluate. In other words, these concepts make them feel better about themselves, not worse. They, as a couple, are unable to find a middle ground without one of them relinquishing or both of them ignoring.

Another core tenet of ‘whiteness’ (and every demographic/label) is the idea of ‘class’. Each culture (the objects that ‘demographics’ in this social-not-racial context are made of) has its ideals of class. Simply by representing any part of western, Carribean or African ‘black’ culture, a ‘black’ person will challenge the expectations and established standards for ‘class’ held by the general ‘white’ identity.

At this point, a distinction should be made between racial identity and race. Nevertheless, comprehend with the primary consideration of ‘interracial’ couplings.

The ‘white’ observer is forced to challenge their idea of ‘class’ and ‘respectability’ at many times at which their ‘partner’ feels to exhibit theirs. The same is true for the ‘black’ party but less so, due to higher acclimatization to the cultural dynamics of the ‘white’ (or ‘other’) party .

A third aspect to look at is:

Familial legacy. Need I say more. ‘Black’ guy from a middle class family – likely ‘broken’ and disadvantaged wants to join his family to the middle class family of a ‘white’ girl that has no separation or poverty in hand – and no expectable rapport.

So, as such with these distancing differences, in order for a ‘white’ and ‘black’ person to coexist together in a loving relationship for a long time, one or both of the parties has to relinquish its once held ‘identity’ in lieu for something more compatible with that of their partners.

Oddly presenting a time when statistics are not required for proof, this dynamic contributes to the lower average duration of such ‘interracial’ relationships.

This concept of relinquishing cultural ideals/identities that I communicate is not too deniable and alien when you consider that many people convert religions for the benefit of their relationships. Additionally, many people are outcast by their families for the relationship they choose to maintain, effectively forcing a transformation of the disowned relations culture and identity.

Family and faith are typical tenets of ‘identity’ and the relinquishing of them is, while not quite ‘commonplace’, regularly seen in diverse societies.

So, in order for an interracial relationship to function enduringly, somebody has to stop being so ‘white’, 'asian' or ‘black’ in their activities and thoughts – becoming somewhat of a hybrid character, molded to form. Fitting after force.

Be sure that these understandings are not defined as unchangeable. Yet, people must be changed from the typical (before or after initiation) for them to be able to manage, appreciate and subsequently maintain an interracial relationship – and it does surely happen, in so many ways.

I think I kept that pretty simple and easy to understand. Given the complexity. Pats on the back for you too. All we can do is have fun. But just look at where that 'fun' has got us.