Saturday, January 04, 2014

What Is / How To Be Posh?

note: To be posh, just speaking a certain way is not enough; 'poshness' is a combination of things, one can pretend to be posh by way of speech but the truly posh all have a set of traits in common that are unusual for the majority. A person must reflect at least 8 of the 10 characteristics and attitudes detailed below to be certified as posh.

'you must' or 'you'...'everybody who's really posh'.....

A. Speak "proper" English, as the Queen would, with consistently punctual phonetic delivery, pronouncing every sound and using obscure words that are typically unnecessary.

B. Be always fond of the Medieval times (unpleasant for most involved), Dickens (and everything old) and feel that the lives of animals are worth less than humans.

C. Falsely mistake ignorance, illogical beliefs and being fickle for being cultured.

D. Don't respond well to confrontation, losing composure and reverting to 'belittle and patronise' tactics.

E. Hate rap but like / appreciate poetry and skill-less rapping by amateurs.

F. Be adept with articulation yet unable to understand excessive and/or slightly flawed articulation.

G. Be prejudiced and comfortably rely on stereotypes.

H. Believe that you can always get what you desire by way of hard work and dedication.

I. Be insensitive about and to others yet over-sensitive about yourself and your family/friends.

J. Feel intellectual because of how you behave instead of what and how much you know.

Having three or four of these negative characteristics does not make you posh, it makes you a whole ass.

8 or more of these  and we, the civilised public, kindly ask you to remove yourself from society.

Poshness is not something to aspire to be, as are many things, so the ailment had to be discussed.. Good day Boyo!!...

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